Useful articles
This is one of my favourite articles, entitled “why am I always like this?” which sums up how a lot of us feel! Steven Hayes (an ACT guru) uses evolutionary psychology to explain some common questions we all ask ourselves, such as “why do we often worry about imaginary problems in the future, even though we know they will most likely never happen anyway? Or why do we care so much what complete strangers think of us; people we have never met before and will probably never meet again?
What is your personal definition of happiness?
“Regardless of where you are on the happiness spectrum, each person has their own way of defining happiness. Philosophers, actors, politicians, and everybody in between have all weighed in on their own view of happiness.”
Have a look in the article and see if you can relate!
Another article by Steven Hayes (can you tell I’m a fan) about a ‘quick and simple exercise to get the benefits of meditation.’ Sounds really good doesn’t it?!
Although as a psychologist it is so clear to me how beneficial meditation is, and how much science supports the real physical, mental, and emotional changes it can make, I often forget! I instead practice this trick, to help me slow down and be present.
why dont breathing techniques work for me?
I hear this, or some variation of this, a LOT. I tried breathing … it didn’t work. or, my old counsellor told me to breathe … i didn’t like it. I think that this is because clients are being taught breathing exercises for the wrong purpose - to get rid of anxiety or panic, which actually in my eyes should not be the indented use. Broadly speaking, we can do things in the pursuit of something, or in the avoidance of something - for example, a bunny rabbit can be running. The rabbit can be running TOWARDS some food, or his bunny lover, or he can be running AWAY from a loud noise or a threat. Same behaviour, completely different experience, intention, and outcome. If we are breathing to try and get rid of a feeling of anxiety, there is no guarantee this will have the desired effect. It will probably help, but it wont take away 100% of that feeling. If we use breathing instead to centre ourselves, steel ourselves, pause, think, and then take a metaphorical step TOWARDS the thing that matters to us, then that is a more worthy use of the breathing tool. With this change of intention, we are more able to see think feel and act clearly, in a situation where we need to make a decision or respond to the thing that make us anxious in the first place, rather than just want to run away. This TOWARDS response is a lot more helpful than the AWAY response, when we all have heaps of stuff we cant avoid!
How do I know its time to go to therapy for my anxiety?
Anxiety itself is not always a bad thing, but it can cast a shadow over you, affecting your life in nearly every way. But how do you know when it's time to seek therapy for your anxiety? My first answer is that if you think you might need therapy – you are a HUMAN and everyone can benefit from good therapy, it doesn’t mean there is necessarily anything wrong with you (or that there needs to be) to justify going!
However, here are some signs that it might be time to book yourself in 😊
1. Overwhelming Worry and Fear:
Persistent, overwhelming worry and fear that disrupt your daily life could signal the need for therapy.
2. Physical Symptoms:
If anxiety causes physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat, tension, or digestive issues, or things like headache, nausea, and exhaustion.
3. Avoidance:
Are you avoiding people, places, or situations due to anxiety? Therapy can help you address and manage these triggers.
4. Daily Life Impact:
When anxiety disrupts your work, social life, or daily activities, therapy can provide you with tools to regain control.
5. Negative Thought Patterns:
Constant negative self-talk and irrational thoughts may indicate the need for therapy to reframe and manage these thought patterns.
6. Sleep Problems:
Frequent nightmares, insomnia, or restless sleep linked to anxiety are no fun, and can be addressed through therapy.
7. Procrastination and Avoidance:
If anxiety leads to procrastination and avoidance of responsibilities, therapy can offer valuable coping strategies.
8. Relationship Struggles:
Anxiety often strains relationships and communication; seeking therapy can improve communication and foster healthier connections.
9. Feeling Overwhelmed:
Feelings of being or on the brink of panic, quite often, are a clear sign that therapy can provide guidance.
10. You have tried heaps of stuff yourself:
If self-help techniques haven't had the desired results, let a professional help?
In conclusion, if this rang a few bells for you, send me an email and lets get cracking 😊
How many people in New Zealand go to therapy?
I thought it might be helpful to write on this, given that “needing to go to therapy” can be seen and felt as such a big thing, and associated with a lot of stigma. Not to mention, scary, and its usually HARD to find a therapist in your area accepting new clients etc etc.
Here are some figures/graphs showing how many people accessed help for their mental health in recent years:
https://figure.nz/chart/3nowCBii0ZMI7o05
Why is it so hard to get into therapy?
Its no secret that times have gotten tougher in a few key ways over the past decade, and its also no secret that getting into therapy hasn’t gotten any easier either. There is a troubling shortage of therapists (psychologists, counsellors, psychiatrists etc) in New Zealand. Covid really didn’t help. This article is a good read if you want to know more:
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/300564423/the-troubling-therapist-shortage-in-nz--why-we-cant-find-help
There aren’t many of us psychologists trained each year in NZ, in my cohort there was 7. It takes about 7 years to become qualified as a Psychologist, and its highly competitive to get into the programs. Because we usually get into the business of wanting to change the world (well, I did) we want to work in the public sector. But lots of us have our own private practices, where we get to have some freedom and autonomy over our workload, and get paid directly for the hard work we are doing, using our favourite skills and pursuing out passions. This is what I do, and its a great balance between being the martyr that you are expected to be, and also having your own thing/source of income. There is more mental stress and distress than we can handle, seems like no matter what we do, which is why I like to offer after hours sessions, flexibly, to people like you.